If you are in a marriage, it pays to pay attention to what is really going on. No matter how it looks from the outside, no matter how many people think you the ‘golden couple’, the truth of the marriage is in the couple’s relationship.
In fact, in case of most divorces, one half of the couple is usually caught off- guard; he or she doesn’t know what hit them! Before you take your spouse for granted or get too comfortable in your marriage, it is important that you are aware of the warning signs that show in a marriage which is in trouble.
Getting married is one of the most important goal of life for a lot of people. The wedding day is supposed to be one of the happiest: you have finally got the person you are in love with and you can now look forward to life with the love of your life. But then, why do so many marriages end up with the couple divorcing?
Why are separation rates so high? Why do people who were so much in love with each other suddenly discover that they can’t stand being with each other under the same roof? What goes so horribly wrong? By understanding the warning signs of a marriage in trouble, it may very well be possible to save it. In fact, if you start repairing the problems cropping up in your marriage then and there, chances are that you can live happily every after!
You just don’t care about your spouse anymore. Or it may be the other way round: your spouse doesn’t care about you. When apathy creeps in, in a marriage, it is a red warning flag that signals that there is trouble brewing. In fact, surveys have shown that couples who don’t fight or argue are more likely to have a troubled marriage than those who do.
If you or your partner thinks that fighting is too much trouble and ‘it’s just not worth it’, then something is seriously wrong with the relationship. When you fight and argue, it may not be a very pleasant experience, but it shows that you care and would rather fight than, not to be with each other. Also, most of the time fighting has nothing to do with love. It is just a way of displaying anger and displeasure and it can happen for very simple reasons.
Little or No Sexual Intimacy
As most people agree, sex is an important constituent of marriage and no marriage can be perfectly normal without it. If you notice that there has been a sudden decrease in the times you and your spouse have sex, then something is wrong. It may be that there is a lack of interest in sex or it may be stress at work. When you people just don’t take out time for sex anymore, it means that the marriage needs repair.
Lack of Communication
There are just too many couples around who don’t communicate with each other. Lack of communication in a marriage spells doom for it. Even if you are having sex everyday but don’t talk to each other, it may mean that you are not connecting at an emotional level. If you find yourself avoiding communicating with your spouse, then it means a sign that your marriage is in trouble.
Spending Time With One Another Is A Chore
If you find yourself looking for excuses to spend time away from your partner, then something is definitely amiss. Happy couples make time for each other in spite of their busy schedules. If you have noticed yourself or your spouse enjoying doing other things more than spending time together, you may be gearing up for trouble.
Do you find yourself being criticized by your spouse all the time? If you feel that you are constantly under your partner’s watch, or that he / she criticizes every action of yours or that you are always wrong no matter what; it is a sure sign that your marriage is in trouble. Over-criticizing one’s partner is demeaning, hurtful and wrong.
Increase In Distractions
Have you noticed that your spouse watches television all the time he is at home? Does your wife listen to music at full blast all the time you are home? These may be early warning signs that your spouse is looking for distractions to keep from communicating with you.
Arguing Too Much
When a couple argues whenever they are with each other, it could mean trouble. That does not mean that couples who argue are not happy. But when arguments happen constantly and for the same issues; it means that there is a problem.
Extra Marital Affair
Infidelity is perhaps the most discussed causes of a marriage gone sour. If one half or both the partners in a marriage engages in an extra- marital affair, then is surely means trouble. Even if the affair is non- sexual and only emotional, it could mean that the marriage needs serious repair.
Emotional, physical and mental abuse in a marriage means big trouble. If you are part of such a marriage, you need to decide whether to walk out or repair it.
How To Fix a Marriage In Trouble?
No matter what anyone tells you, the truth is that most of the warning signs of a bad marriage can be fixed. All it needs is commitment and effort. With proper guidance, you can fix your marriage if it is in trouble.
Talking with your partner about the possible causes of the problems in your marriage is important. Communicating as often as possible about the troubles in your marriage will make life easier. Do spend as much quality time as possible with your spouse.
Do things both of you enjoy, indulge in sex or watch movies: the trick is to enjoy each other’s company. Also, both of you should discuss and agree that you want to fix the troubles in your marriage. There is no point fighting with your spouse to keep a marriage going if he or she is just not interested.