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How to loose your lover

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July 14, 2008

Fed up of the irritating habits of your lover? Can’t see him any more being with you but finding it difficult to ditch that special one? Is guilt pangs are getting in your way; or his or her complete inability to take a hint? Then here’s how you can deliver a final blow to him or her with finesse.

Tell him that your dad is an orthodox person; he won’t stand for a person like you belonging to different nationality/religion/caste or creed. So there’s no point being in this relationship.

Fake a nervous breakdown. Keep crying and blaming yourself for everything from bread rotting in n a refrigerator to downpour outside. Keep on repeating the line “you don’t deserve a worm like me in your life”. This will for sure irritate him and give him a chance to think again about this relationship.

Insist that you break out into severe rashes on the inside of your mouth after each cuddling and kissing session. Keep garlic in your mouth every now and then and tell him that it’s effective in curing the problem. The smell will surely keep him at bay.

Suddenly become very very picky. insist on cleaning up fanatically, grumbling all the while that your partner isn’t doing any good. Holler if he or she falls short on your impeccable hygienic standards in any way. Throw your hands up in frustration or their belongings out of the window and claim that you can’t live in such a pigsty with such an unclean person.

Don’t take his or her calls. Leave a message on the answering machine that says:” I am not here right now. If you are Raj or Riddhima (fill the name of your lover), don’t leave the message. If you are any other, come right over.

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