Vanity in a person is actually a disorder known as narcissistic personality disorder or NPD. A person suffering from narcissistic personality disorder has an escalated sense of self importance. These people always see the best in their own selves and the worst in others. But behind their narcissistic image, these persons are nursing a very fragile ego. They need the approval from themselves and others to make them feel better. It is difficult to deal with a narcissistic person for any period of time. But what do you do if that person is your mother? How do you deal with a narcissistic mother? The following tips will help you deal with your narcissistic mother.
The first thing in dealing with a mother suffering from narcissistic personality disorder is to recognize and face the fact that she is narcissistic. She will exhibit some symptoms such as holding herself above the rules that everyone else needs to follow, the need for continuous acceptance, jealousy, defensiveness if someone points out her weaknesses, etcetera.
Learn what has made your mother narcissistic. More often than not, something in her past has caused her to be this way. It may stem from her childhood years, teenage years or a bad marriage. As a child she may have either been spoiled by her parents or abused by them. You will need to help your mother build up her confidence levels.
Set boundaries as to how much of these narcissistic actions you can deal with without getting agitated or offended. Narcissistic people are known to put others down. A mother suffering from NPD can make their child feel like less of a person without even realizing it. Prepare yourself prior to talking with your mother and remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with you; the problem lies with her. Do not let what your mother says get to you. She will always feel that she is right and that the child is the cause of her unhappiness. This could make the child have a guilty conscience. Do not feel guilty. You have done nothing wrong.
Stay calm when you are talking to your mother. Her comments may prod you to get agitated but you must hold your ground. Do not be afraid to say no to her. Be firm with your statements but do not express anger. She will only use your anger to fuel further detrimental comments. If you are having a difficult time dealing with her, walk away from the situation. If you are living with her, you may need to move out of her home.