So you loved your spouse dearly, whole heartedly and expected a life full of happiness for posterity. Not to say that the expectations were wrong but the inevitable happened and you were handed down the divorce.
Move over crying and sobbing; blaming yourself for whatever happened. Believe me it was as much your fault as was his/hers.
Here is what you could do:
1. Re-establish contact with old buddies whom you lost because of the pre-occupation with marriage. Now that it is over, they can be a good source of comfort. Time will pass as you relate whatever happened in these years.
2. Get back with a bang into the dating game. Just make sure you do not repeat the same previous mistakes. After all, it must not be falling from the frying pan into the fire. Get out of the comfort of home, meet new people, and catch up with what was going on with the world while you were busy fixing things in relationships.
3. It is understandable that you become nostalgic and fondly remember the good old days. But never in the heat of emotion do call him/her up or try to contact through any other means. Don’t be under the illusion of the ex returning; you will be hurt more than anyone else in the world. Try to think you had never met that person; it’s hard to do so but at least it is worth a trial. And if kids are involved too, meet the ex as an acquaintance or at most as a friend and nothing more absolutely.
4. Don’t be an escapist by involving in drugs and drinks. And worse still if you think of leaving the place or city where you lived. I know there are and will some precious memories attached to it forever but leaving the place won’t be of much help. Instead be there and rebuild life again.
5. Maintain a positive frame of mind towards the children. They need your support as much as you need them. Explain to them the importance of the situation. Just make sure they do not withdraw into their shell and shun the world for ever.