Have you been of late at your wits’ end deciding how to handle the intermittent feeling of jealousy between your children? Are you at a loss trying to make them see sense? Well you would need more than just trying to make them see sense. You will need to be sensitive to their feelings, and understand the underlying psyche, the source of their discontentment. Understand one thing; sibling jealousy is a normal thing to happen unless it gets out of control. Here are a few reasons that will help you to understand what may cause sibling jealousy:
For most children the amount of time spent by parents with them means how much they love them. The time factor plays the measuring scale for love. Therefore, if a child sees his parent/s spending more time or paying more attention, whatever be the reason, to his/her sibling s/he naturally grows jealous of him/her. They feel hurt and deprived of the love they believe to be rightfully theirs and fear that the connection you share with him is slowly breaking down.
Low esteem and lack of Social Skills
If any of your children is low on his/her self-esteem and the other/s are not it can be the cause of feelings of jealousy in the former. S/he might want validation from the family members and if it is not coming his/her way it might make way for this feeling to arise. Lack of social skills is also known to give rise to such feelings. The frustration felt by the child for his/her poor social skills and the envy for his/her siblings’ superior skills might start up frequent showdowns between them as they fall prey to provocation easily.
It is agreed by researchers that a minimum of 2 1/2 to 3 years between consecutive births is essential for the good of both the mother and the children. Siblings who do not have this minimum gap are found to be at loggerheads more frequently than the others as the elder of the siblings finds it difficult to establish his/her separation from the younger. This might lead to fights over very minor things.
Temperament of the child
The individual disposition and personality of the children also decide how they are going to behave with their siblings. If one of your children has the habit of clinging to you all the time for love and care it can evoke jealousy in the other and may make him/her crave for equal attention.