Insecurities in Marriage
For years, marriage was part of the life cycle. You were born, grew up, got married, had kids of your own, got old, and died leaving your children to carry on your legacy. But things are changing. Nowadays, many young people are choosing to either hold off on getting married or are dismissing the idea altogether. One reason may be that younger people are becoming too career focused and find that they do not have time to marry and raise a family. Others feel that you do not have to be married to have a family. Another reason is that responsibility in society has diminished and people want to remain free to be by themselves and date. Yet another reason and probably the most common reason why people do not get married is insecurity. As there are a growing number of divorces, many people are afraid to get married. Young people do not know how to work out the problems that their parents faced and opt for a presumably easy way out.
Many marriages fail because one of the partners is either not secure with themselves or they are not secure with the relationship. They may feel that their partner is not showing them the amount of love and attention that they require. Often, a marriage may seem one-sided. Like one person in the relationship is paying the bills, tending to the children and/or providing the physical stimulation. As tension grows between married couples, communication falters.
At some point, one of the partners in the marriage may become over critical, suspicious or insecure. They may feel threatened by an outsider. This feeling of jealousy and possibly even resentment needs to be analyzed and put into perspective. Do not let these feelings get out of hand. Communication is very important to having a successful marriage. Let your spouse know how you are feeling whether it be insecure, stressed or unappreciated. Talk out your feelings before making hasty, poor judgments.
By not discussing your emotions, your marriage will more than likely suffer from feelings of distrust or resentment. Your insecurities may be a result of your personal thoughts or the actions of your spouse. As a partner in a marriage, it is your responsibility to make your spouse feel appreciated and desired. Remember the vow you took in front of everyone to “love, honor and cherish”. This should be the basis for your marriage.
