If your husband has cheated upon you, the first question to ask yourself- do you want that person to come back to you? Can the relationship be back at the same point of comfort? Will you be able to trust him again? Will you be able to love him again?
If your answer is ‘yes’ to any of the above, it means you are ready to forgive him and move on in life. It means you want to take him even after he has been in an extra marital liaison. The next thing to know is – how to get him back?
Most women make the common and the serious mistake in this scenario is to become more clingy and ‘needy’ for him. The more you cling to him, blame him for all miseries and become more dependant upon him, the more he will move away from you. It is human nature- we run away from who runs after us. Doing so, you will make him withdraw into his shell more.
No amount of cursing, crying or pleading helps. And please do not think about the ‘talk’ with him will solve anything. It does not. There was a reason, if there was, for his infidelity and by behaving frustratingly, the situation will worsen more. I am not advocating he was right in what he did; but understand what has happened cannot be undone. You need to look ahead.
The winning point here is to show him you are not willing to chase him anymore that the chasing is futile now. Go about leading your own life. Take care of kids, go to work regularly, visit friends, and watch movies. Yes, it is hard to do these but do you have any other option? In the meantime, try to know what led him to infidelity? It could be lack of love in your relation, the ‘seven year itch’, lack of bonding, lack of commitment and a dwindling sexual life.
Try to rectify the mistakes. Show him you can lead your own life. If he had loved you enough, he will realize his mistake and ask for forgiveness.