How to argue effectively with your partner

argui Arguments are inevitable in a relationship. However the way you argue is of more importance than what you are arguing about. This is something that you will find out after many arguments.

Some people like to avoid them as they are unpleasant but this is not voicing your opinion which is not too healthy for your relationship either. Here are some tips to keep in mind the next time you have an argument with the one you love.

Avoid simply blaming the other.

Blaming the other will only accelerate the argument and take it on to levels which are very unpleasant. Instead try to see where you lie in fault. If you apologise for your mistake then the other will not have a chance to blame you. Talk about how you feel and what you expected. Start your sentences with “I” rather than “you”.

Do not bring in the past.

Very often we bring up various mistakes that the other person has done to you to prove our point. Avoid doing this as it will only make your partner feel unwanted and devalued. It will also show you in a bad light because you have promised to forgive him or her for those mistakes and move on and bringing up the past will only show that you haven’t kept your promise.

Listen to the other persons point of view.

Very often it is a misunderstanding. To clear it, you will have to listen to the intentions of the other.

Come up with solutions.

It is important that you stop focusing on the problem and focus on solutions to end the argument. Come up with any kind of solution, even funny ones to ease the tension. Avoid sarcasm as this will only make the situation worse. Find a solution together, even if it means agreeing to disagree! Argue with the right attitude that you are discussing something, not trying to prove who is right and who is wrong.

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