Don’t want kids?!
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How weird!! This is what you might get to hear the moment you say that You Don’t Want Kids after marriage. The statement often turns up into a break up! And that too with quite an obvious reason. The issue of children can not be solved by concession. It’s the question of life. This perplexity becomes severe when it emerges after marriage. So, it’s better to discuss your future plans with your partner before marriage.

Having kids is not less than a blessing which provides you a reason to live, a reason to live life, not just spend it. Getting a chance to raise children is a great gift of God. This is a task that always keeps you excited for future. Watching the kids grow in front of your eyes and their turning up into great personalities is something which can not be explained in words. Then why would anyone not want kids?

Now, Let us change our view for a while and think something different from the tradition. Is choosing, not to have kids, a Sin? The answer is No! It’s your life and its you who will take decisions for you. Just like one person wants to have kids, another person may also make his/ her own choice. So why should anyone change their view for someone else.

People have different reasons for not having kids. These usually include the one or more of the following:

  • They don’t want to take responsibilities and want to live freely. Kids bring responsibilities with them and require proper attention.
  • Some people are career oriented and over ambitious to afford having children for present time. This conflict is resolvable most of the times if your spouse can cooperate and wait. But if the situation is not this, then it will definitely turn up into break up or divorce.
  • Fear of not being able to give enough time to kids
  • Possessiveness about figure in case of females. Women working in corporate companies are worried about their physique.
  • Some people are of opinion that after having kids, personal life almost comes to an end and they do not get enough time for themselves. They feel a burden of responsibilities which always restricts them to do whatever they want.

The above said reasons are valid reasons one might think. But the problem arises when the significant other of the couple wants kids. This issue can bring a thunderstorm in life. Choosing not to have kids is like inviting taunts forever. The drawbacks associated with this decision often lead to:

Bitterness in relationships

Relations involving couples having a different opinion about kids often result in clashes and gradually tear the relation apart. For a successful relation, you need to have an understanding which can be attained only when you talk to your spouse openly. Plan every thing before the marriage so that things become easier.


People often decide not to have kids when they are young. But as they grow older and re think over their decision, they tend to get depressed out of the monotonous life style and missing fun which they could have experienced had they had kids.

On the other hand, depression also occurs when you wanted kids but your spouse did not. There are cases where one of the partner is so much attached to the other one that he/she can not even think of getting separated. In this situation, one can get awfully depressed to the extent that they might try to commit suicide.

To have or not to have kids is a critical question; and the answer to this question is the deciding factor of your life. Every one of us has the moral right to live life on our own terms. So it is better to take a decision only after discussing every aspect with your partner. Talk and sort it out before marriage only as prevention is better than cure.

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i am 35 year old woman and dont want to have kids after marriage. i want to live life in full circle and dont want to take responsibility of kids. but i find difficult to find a life partner who can corelate on this issue with me. please advice any website or any other way to find my suitable life partner
#1 - upasana - 03/11/2011 - 06:19
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