Overcoming Jealousy


You’ve got the girl of your dreams right where you wanted her: in your arms, and possibly even in your apartment, staying the night over if you’re lucky. Problem is she doesn’t always stay there – and actually has a life of her own, which may include other men as well. And even though its only the local greengrocer or newspaper delivery boy she smiles at, you take it as a personal affront to your manliness that she could waste her attentions on vague characters – which sometimes includes your pals too!

Take charge now! Realize that obsessing over your woman’s every move, her past and possible future actions is going to adversely effect your present with her. Unless you control your instincts of paranoia, even your smallest but frequent questions may cause her to feel stemmed in and linked to a nagger!

You must realize if you are with a woman whom you find attractive enough to commit to, it is only human other men might find that quality appealing too. But as long as she gives you no cause for concern to suspect her commitment, do not rock the love-boat by following her movements, calling too often and double-checking with friends (she will get to know about it eventually and think you a real creep for suspecting her).

It pays to analyze your own feelings of insecurity first: why do you suspect her of cheating on you? Has it happened to you in the past or have you been guilty of straying in a past or this relationship? Are there any outward, damning signs to indicate without doubt that your girlfriend might be two-timing you or is losing interest in you?

Examining your own behaviour is the best way to get a grip on deeper emotions like jealously which can ruin a good relationship.

If you don’t trust your own judgement at this stage, consult with a close friend and ask for a sincere opinion; better still, be honest with your partner and reveal your insecurities. If she feels you are worth the effort, she will work to calm your, but do act mature about it and speak it over with her at an opportune time.