Men and women being just friends: Myth or reality
May 11, 2009
Is it impossible for a man and woman to be “just friends”?
Men and women often interact at work and even share common hobbies. Some debate the possibility of men and women interacting socially, and maintaining a platonic relationship, free of sexual attraction and tension.
There’s no solid answer. Individual experience and differing opinions lead to different interpretations. Many people believe that any friendship between a man and a woman includes an underlying interest in something more than a platonic relationship on someone’s part.
Some believe sexual interest underlies friendships between members of the opposite sex. They think men and women can only remain friends until one or the other expresses their sexual desires.
Platonic love, however, does not mean there’s a lack of sexual attraction, simply that there is a lack of sexual activity. Sexual tension is almost unavoidable between heterosexual members of the opposite sex.
Many women believe that, unless one of the friends involved is gay, there’s no such thing as a true friendship between members of the opposite sex. This common misconception is that a homosexual orientation turns a friend of the opposite sex into “just one of the girls” or “just one of the guys.” Those with this ill-conceived idea truly believe that men and women are only capable of being lovers, never friends.
Others claim that a friendship between members of the opposite sex is entirely possible. Men may feel they are able to communicate at a deeper level of connection with a female friend than they could with men, leading them to share emotions they feel they can’t discuss with their male friends. On the other hand, women may feel safe with a male friend, regarding him as a brother who will protect her.
Friendships are formed on the basis of a similarity of interests, not gender. One suggestion for discovering how the friendship might last in the long run is sleeping in the same bed together. If you make it through the night without distraction, sleeping soundly next to your friend of the opposite sex, the friendship might be real.
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