At the very least, you should be making love twice or thrice every week not only for the benefit of a close bond with your significant other, but also to improve your overall health. Sex is a good way to burn calories and it will have your heart racing much like exercise would do; your lungs will also get a work out with the rapid breathing. Further, blood circulation will improve and when all this settles down, feel-good endorphins that make you feel closer to your partner and happy will be released. You should also be a happier, more upbeat person for your ‘efforts’. An orgasm can actually help relieve pains and aches.
While the benefits can be motivating, sex that is dull or unsatisfactory takes away any desire to get down to it. The questions below should point you in the right direction when you answer them and get to know what your beliefs, needs and habits are as concerns sex.
Do you feel that you are good satisfying your partner or do you think they find you lacking? If you don’t feel you are good at it, what do you think is lacking?
Are you a sexual traffic cop with very rigid rules about where you can have sex, how it happens, and when and an exact procedure that is followed every time like a bunch of driving rules? Do you think these rules work for you and for your partner or hold you back?
Do you both look forward to getting intimate and the rituals and sexual habits you have or do just do it to oblige your partner and get it over with? Are both of you satisfied at the end of it?Are you fully present when you are making love or are you mentally ticking off shopping lists and things to do?
Are you able to freely talk about what makes you happy and what doesn’t with your partner? Good sex begins between the ears and that means expressing what your thoughts and feelings about it are.
Do you have concerns about falling pregnant or contracting an STI? Take the necessary precautions so that you are relaxed and comfortable during sex.
What does intimacy and sex mean to you and does your partner share these sentiments; does it mean commitment and exclusivity for you? Discuss the implications with your partner.
Consciously working on your sex life is the only way to make it better, and that means having sex with an aim of making it better every time quite often. Answering the questions above honestly and sharing what you feel with your partner should put you on track.