Dealing With Possessiveness
December 15, 2008
If you break into a cold sweat just thinking where your gal may be going when she says she’ll be out with her gal pals or your heart sinks to your shoes when she casually mentions male colleagues or an ex, you’ve got to admit to a bad case of the green eyed monster! And, if you want to make the relationship work, you’ve got to learn ways to overcome jealousy, which has caused too much unnecessary friction in otherwise great-sailing relationships to have men lose out on really fabulous females to ever want to join the losers!
Ask a third party whether they feel your jealously is warranted. As long as you learn not to internalize the emotion, your possessiveness won’t get the better of you. To check this corroding emotion, take help from a buddy, or close relative. This way you will avoid the downward spiral of your relationship and be able to put all negative and suspicious thoughts to rest, instead of amplifying them to serve as a conspiracy theory in your head, as jealous men are prone to doing.
The third party can be your outside opinion to gaining a sense of perspective and will help you rationalize your girlfriends actions or statements that you may be feeling call for suspicion; a good friend will help you see the bigger, real picture – and probably even help you patch up, if you’ve already revealed your state of mind to your woman and freaked her out.
Alternately, ask a common friend to sit out with you and your girlfriend while you outline your reasons for being possessive, only if your woman is all right with having a third person listen in to such a private matter. Ask questions, be honest and try to explain if you have ever been cheated in the past and see significant or telling signs here that history may be repeating itself.
Evaluate your behaviour and try to detach yourself when you examine your feelings: whether you are stressed at work or experiencing decreased libido and unable to deal with other men being attracted to her – before rocking your relationship with unwarranted possessiveness or addressing issues that your woman is not responsible for.
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