Violence In Marriages – I Do Or Do Not?
July 3, 2008
Is violence present in marriages and if so how much violence is there? In most marriages, there is some form of violence present and the violence does not have to always be physical. The violence in marriages can be performed either physically or mentally but in the end, the victim is always going to suffer and how much they suffer depends on how they view and react to the violent act or acts themselves.
So what is the cause of spousal abuse and where does it begin? The cause of the abuse can be anywhere from a spouse losing his or her job to a spouse’s need for control and attention, which causes them to become control freaks.
A spouse losing a job or losing a good friend or family member can cause post-traumatic stress, which can lead to violent mood swings, fits of rage and/or severe depression. Another cause for physical and/or verbal abuses in marriages can be due to the fact that the abuser is insecure about his or her appearance, financial situation and/or their social status or standing, which they feel inadequate and worthless about themselves, which leads them to project those feelings of frustration and anger toward their spouse and/or children.
Can either the man and/or the woman be the aggressors in the abusive marriage? Yes, either or both spouses can be the aggressors in the marriage and sometimes the woman is the abuser in that type of marriage, not the man. Yes, the woman can wear the pants in the relationship and either physically or verbally abuse the man, but the man is really in a bind because if he tells other people, including the police about the abuse, they would not believe him and even laugh at him, thinking, “How can he allow his woman to beat and curse at him at all?”
That is a good question and deserves an answer to it. Without calling anybody weak or timid or passive, I would say the reason why the men who are abused by the women in the a relationship is because they may understand the woman’s pain and do not want to upset her even further or that the guy is mentally or physically weak and cannot bring himself to stop the abuse, likewise for women that are abused by men in those types of relationships.
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