Love, trust and mutual respect are the three elements which define a successful marriage. However with time, love seems to fly out of the window. But, is that really true?
No, not at all; because how can two people stop loving each other all of a sudden? So love is always there, what goes is the trust and mutual respect between the two individuals in a marriage. Now what could be the reason behind that? The stress factor in today’s hectic and fast paced life leaves us feeling tired and drained at the end of the day.
Add to it the fact that two people can never be alike even though they are united in matrimony. Moreover with time an individual may change, in terms of his/her needs, preferences and expectations. All these factors give rise to conflicts in a marriage.
When two people live together, arguments are bound to happen and in fact, they actually work to spice up your married life. However, when arguments go on and on in a never ending manner, you must understand that your marriage is in trouble. Married couples must know when to back off when things go out of hand. After all you are arguing with your spouse and not with an enemy.
So listed below are a few things that you can imbibe to better handle conflicts in your marriage.
Calmness is a quality that every married couple should adopt. You must learn not to let your emotions rule over you. If you have any negative thoughts about your spouse, try and erase them because they never work to solve any problem. Shed your ego because marital conflicts are not about winning or losing. Address the issue without hurling personal attacks on each other. In a heated argument, one of the partners should back off, before things go out of hand.
Agree To Disagree
It’s not possible for two people to agree with each other all the time. You should be mature enough to respect each other’s individuality. You cannot alter your partner’s viewpoint forcibly just to get your way. So agree to disagree and find out a common ground where you can both reach out to each other. Compromising in a marriage is not demeaning. It is actually working out a way to resolve the issue at hand, so that you can live peacefully and harmoniously with each other.
Admit Your Mistakes
We are all liable to commit mistakes, because none of us are perfect. So don’t refuse to admit when you commit a mistake. Agree to your mistakes and you will see your partner probably doing the same in the future.At the same time try and understand the situation by putting yourself into his/her shoes.
In that way it will be easier for you to understand your partner’s reaction. Similarly you should be able to forgive your partner, and learn to let it go once an argument is over. Holding on to grudges and hurts will never allow you to get rid of those negative feelings.
Check Your Spending Habits
Money is also a contributing factor for arguments in marriage. Couples should check their spending habits; otherwise you will end up draining the family funds. Once again you will find yourself blaming each other for a situation that you have given birth to, in the first place.
Spending money on consumables makes you feel better temporarily, as it diverts your mind from the daily routine. However, it only gives rise to uncomfortable questions, like – how much there is, where it’s coming from and where it’s going.
Bury The Past
During an argument, don’t bring up past issues just to take a dig at your partner, because it will only aggravate his/her anger. This will complicate the situation, and the current issue for which you are arguing will remain unresolved, and it will go on to become food for your future arguments.
You see the real causes for marital conflicts are very simple. It’s actually the way we look at it, or the way we take it. Most of us want to be happy and loved and once you understand the ways and means to find them, things will undoubtedly become easier for you.
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