Tips On Being A Good Conversationalist

good conversationalist

good conversationalist Good conversation is an art. It involves judging other person’s mood, his intellectual make up, his prejudices, his manners, and his communication skills. Considering all these factors some time one has to design one’s conversation.

As we know that different people have different temperament, and what one finds interesting other may find boring. We all have our own areas of expertise and our own personal likes and dislikes. In fact this is what makes a conversation interesting. You get to express your views and ideas and at the same time get to know other person’s views and ideas.



It’s only through a good conversation we come to know about different aspects of a matter. Sometimes we get to hear a totally different view on that subject something that never occurred to us. Also, when we talk to someone we come to know about our real views and ideas on any subject. Talking is very different from thinking. Thinking provides the depth, but talking brings out the hidden unknown parts of ourselves.

Good conversation can take place between any two persons regardless of their age, gender, intellectual capability, and culture. It’s only about expressing oneself effectively and listening to other person attentively. Even If one person has good communication skills, a good conversation may take place as it would compensate for other person’s lack of communication skills.



Thus it would be wrong to presume that conversation between people of same age is more interesting and entertaining than conversation between people of different age. A kid’s conversation with his grandpa may be more entertaining than a conversation between two cocky and haughty youths who constantly try to outsmart or outwit each other.

For a good conversation to take place  there are certain things you should keep in mind.

Good Manners

You should greet the other person with a warm smile and a handshake. This will create a good first impression and he would be well disposed towards you.



Open Up The Conversation With Casual Remarks

Always start a conversation with casual remarks. You can start with casual remarks about the climate or about the traffic and how you reached here, or talk about the place where you are meeting. This helps to warm up and creates a friendly and relaxed atmosphere. It also gives time to judge each other.

Judge Other Person’s Mood

It’s important to judge other person’s mental state. One’s mood and his present mental state is always reflected on one’s face and in one’s manners. Thus it’s easy to guess whether your friend or acquaintance is in good spirit or not.

Different Approach For Different Persons

It depends upon the kind of relationship you share with the other person. If he is your close friend then you can start the conversation with what’s happening in your life and ask him how he is doing. You can talk about each other’s personal matters; share each other’s feelings, hopes and fears. It would make you feel light and relaxed.


If you are meeting the person for the first time then avoid talking about personal matters, instead talk about general topics.

Know When To Stop

how to be a good conversationalist

Photo Credit- Aprilbraswell.com

You should pay attention how your friend is getting affected by your conversation. If he looks bored  or oblivious to what you are saying then you should either stop or change the subject.

Many people don’t know when to stop. Similarly, if you find your friends conversation boring and dull then give him a hint or try to change the subject. If he is smart enough then he would take the hint and stop his chatter.

Conversation With  an Elderly Person

When talking to an elderly person your manners and your behavior will make a big difference. You must show respect to them. Otherwise the conversation may not take place at all. A young person, however capable or intelligent he may be still lacks in maturity and experience which comes only with time and age. Thus, while talking to an elderly person you should behave like a student and think of him as a teacher.

You will have to listen to him in a humble manner and pose your questions as curiosities. This is the only way in which the he will open up to you and reward you with his insights and views on various subjects. Later on you can judge for yourself whether his opinions were true or false. Till then keep them in mind.

Have A Good Conversation Not A Debate

The whole point of a good conversation i.e. entertainment and intellectual stimulation is lost when either of the two persons starts talking in a loud voice  to validate his opinion. It shows that the person feels passionately about the subject and is not open to discussion on that matter. There’s no point in further argument and the best thing to do is to concede and change the subject.

Careless Remarks

Nothing spoils a good conversation more than a careless demeaning remark or a sarcastic remark. It ruins the whole thing. It damages the ongoing conversation and sometimes has far reaching repercussions. It may damage your friendship. So avoid making bad remarks based on your prejudices and opinions. Once  such a remark has been made the conversation die down followed by a disturbing silence.

Language Difference

Unless you want to show off your English speaking skills there’s no point in talking to someone in a language that he is not comfortable with. It would create a communication gap. So it’s better to talk in a language that you both feel comfortable with.

The whole idea is to have a good and meaning full conversation. Talking in English doesn’t prove anything, it doesn’t prove that you are smarter or more intelligent or more matured or more rational than other person. It only shows that you can speak one more language fluently.

Ending a Conversation

Always end a conversation with an encouraging remark like, “It was a pleasure talking to you” or “I had a great time with you”, “I would love to meet you again.” Obviously you will not say all of these things if you did not like it, then a simple “Okay bye” or “See you” will be enough.



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