The ‘break’ in break-up not only signifies a broken relationship but also a broken heart, or two. Shouting, screaming, tears and blaming each other for the plight of the relationship are predictable occurrences during a break up.
But does it have to end in such bitterness? Isn’t there a possibility of an amicable parting? Many people do not think amiable break-ups are a good idea. According to them, separating on a courteous note combines the inevitable heart-break with a feeling of guilt as well. Anger, hatred and blaming your partner, they believe, helps one get over him/her faster.
Most of us though, would prefer a civil break-up and not have resentment for the person we once dearly loved. There are certain steps you can take to make the process of break-up as amicable as possible.
Do Not Delay The Inevitable
Once you realize that the relationship is not working out for you, it is best to communicate it to your partner at the earliest. Do not dilly-dally just to delay the awkward moment. If you wait too long after you are not committed any more, your partner will sense your disengagement and resentment will creep in. Talk to your partner about your feelings. Chances are that he/she might also be thinking along the same line.
Do Not Blame Your Partner
You might seriously believe that your partner is at fault, but do not say it at the time of break-up. Instead of saying “You don’t understand me”, try saying “I am not getting what I want from this relationship”. Keep in mind, it takes two to make and break a relationship.
Explain Your Reasons Politely
Abruptly ending a relationship leaves some question marks hanging up in the air. Whenever possible, break-up in person face-to-face and explain your reasons. This will give both of you some closure. Your ex might also give you some reasons and explanations on his/her part. This way both of you can learn from your mistakes for a better future.
Give Your Ex Some Space
Once the break-up is done, walk away. Although you might be tempted to check on your ex, getting in touch too soon will just rub the wounds. Give him/her some time to heal and process the situation before you extend the olive branch of friendship.
Never Let Each-Other’s Secrets out
Talking to your friends or next partner about your ex or letting out his/her secrets can lead to bigger damage than the break-up itself. Be respectful and do not breach confidence. Things confided in you as a partner should not become public knowledge just because you are not together any more.
A break-up that happens amicably enhances the chance of friendship in future. Ex’s can be great friends as they know and understand you intimately. But if you feel that closeness would lead to bitterness, it is best to drop the idea of friendship or any connect for that matter. Move on with your life with the memories of this relationship as a landmark which you have passed and left behind.