They Call Me Gay! But, I’m Not


The world seems to have moved beyond plain and simple being gay love! Many gay men say that though they are called gay, they are not actually gay. So, if they are gay, but not actually gay, just what are they talking about!

Well, it seems, that the new norm is that while Eve Lincoln, a young nineteen year old New Yorker dates women, but refuses to call herself a lesbian. She states she doesn’t fall in any category, as she dates people not genders, not bodies with certain genitalia. She strictly believes in going out with people with whom she is attracted to and feels a connection with. Hers’ is a classic example of: “They call me Gay! But, I’m not!

Lincoln states that it is mostly straight people who reject the word lesbian. She is right when she says that hetero-sexual is the base of most present day labels and anything different from that is deviant.

As a growing number of teens and college-age students reject the idea of being tagged as gay or lesbian, the words may be dying a natural death. Other names such a dyke; fairy, butch etc. are also going the way of Latin.

Meanwhile, some women and minority youths with same-sex attractions feel the words gay, lesbian, and bisexual represent only rich white men. At the same time, many people refuse to be called ‘gay’ because they fear people will be stigmatised as suffering from AIDS. Many young people feel there is more to them than being gay. While, they don’t mind the term gay, what they dislike are the stereo-types associated with the word. They feel the picture should be looked at as typical stereo-types of gay men don’t define every one.

The growing rejection by young gay people of words like gay and lesbian represents another cultural shift, which the older gays and lesbians don’t like. But, there are cultures out there that don’t have gay or straight people; they only have active and passive ones, such as, Arabic cultures!

What is becoming more and more evident is the refusal of people in getting their sexuality tagged. They may be gay but they refuse to be compartmentalised, feeling that labels such as gay or lesbian prove detrimental as far as normal life is concerned. More and more of them are saying: They Call Me Gay! But, I’m Not! Best of friends, even Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King have been rumoured to be black gays, which they denied saying: “I understand why people think we’re gay,” Winfrey says. “There isn’t a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it, how can you be this close without it being sexual?”