The Power of Silence
December 1, 2008
People just love to talk. They talk about themselves, their accomplishments, revealing secrets, threaten people etc. Most often all they talk about are exaggerated. The only thing you just have to do is to sit down and listen to them and they tell you so many things. It is really difficult as it seems to make people open up to you. There a few things to do.
Create an awkward silence
This is one of the most powerful ways of getting people to start talking. When there is an awkward situation and the other person feels uncomfortable, he/she starts talking. One way of creating such awkward situations is silence. Just remain calmly silence without any negative facial expression.
There are certain practical things that can help. If you are waiting in a car you can turn off the radio and keep quite. The other person will try breaking the silence. You can go to a restaurant where the service is slow. Stay as quite as a corpse and let the other person break the ice. Limit yourself to a few words and keep your questions open-ended. Another way is to take a long silent drive with the person. This works for those looking for approval.
But be careful. There are others who could be playing the same game like you. Don’t underestimate simple questions that want to find how things are going. Questions like that can make people say a lot about themselves.
You can get information through silence
Sometimes when you remain silence you can get a lot of information. During negotiations remaining silent at certain key moments of the process can give you extra information. Your silence at those times may indicate to the other party that you know what they are offering is less than required. They might try to increase their offer.
When someone is venting his anger or frustration, they say a lot of things that you should be listening to. People in such situation are like a golden goose laying an egg full of vital golden information. The only thing is to keep your mouth shut. You get a lot of information to your advantage.
You can try this on yourself. You will see how much solitude can rejuvenate you. Silence is powerful.
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