Humans’ perceptions of sex have been sadly skewed by the way sexuality is taught. Many cultures think of sex as sinful or a taboo topic, while others follow a medical model that reduces sex to a form of physical excitement that builds to release through orgasm.
Orgasm is seen primarily as an autonomic response to stimulation, resulting in ejaculation for men and vaginal contractions for women.
Tantric sex, on the other hand, is based on a totally different approach. Based on esoteric teachings of several eastern religions, Tantric sex slows down the sexual activities and moves toward deeper relaxation, instead of charging through the activity and using excitement as a means to an end.
Tantric partners exchange mental, emotional and physical energy with each other rather than using their lovers as a living tool for self-gratification.
Sexuality educator Ray Stubbs, a quadriplegic, experiences spontaneous orgasms while meditating. Many years of study with Tantric teachers have led Stubbs to write books about his experiences, his latest being “The Essential Tantra: A Modern Guide to Sacred Sexuality”. He’s not alone in his experiences, either. Author of “Life on Wheels,” paraplegic Gary Karp also has an interest in Tantric sex.
Though it may not seem like it, Tantra is a spiritual approach to sexuality. While not the goal, prolonged sexual pleasure can be achieved by using Tantric methods. Sex is simply the vehicle to bliss, like Tantric meditation.
It can take many years of study and practice to master Tantra. But it’s not an exclusive activity; everyone can reap the benefits by employing simple practices.
â€¢Â Â Â Remain aware of the conscious being that you are. Wear your watch on your right wrist if you normally wear it on your left, and say “I am a conscious being” when you check the time.
â€¢Â Â Â Most of us take shallow breaths. It’s important to focus on your breathing, because deeper breathing leads to deeper relaxation. Check your breathing whenever you pass through a door.
â€¢Â Â Â Focus on the palm of your right hand to get a better sense of your energy, noticing every sensation. Do the same for your left hand. Keep these sensations in mind as you move your hands together, almost to the point of touching.
Check the sensations again, noting how they may differ from the original sensation. This helps you learn the outline of your energy body, which is different from your physical body.
â€¢Â Â Â Slow down your eating; truly taste your food and drink. Keep track of sensation like texture and temperature.
â€¢Â Â Â Let go of expectations. If you’re receiving sexual stimulation, don’t worry about outcomes. If you’re giving sexual stimulation, don’t worry about performance. Instead, simply allow the experiences to occur; feel the energy as it flows between you. Once this happens, you will realize that the medical model of sexual fulfillment isn’t the only way to make love.