Sex talk
May 20, 2008
S-E-X. It is a word loaded with social taboos and cultural mystery. It is 100% necessary for the continuation of the human race and yet it is treated as if it is unnatural, even down right dirty. IT’S NOT! But this stigma is what makes parents freak out when their teen announces he or she is ready to give it a try. Now, although this reaction is an instinctive one for parents to have, it is not without some merit. Sex in the new millennium is filled with risks – both emotional and physical. Gone are the days when the only worry the sexually active teen had was unwanted pregnancy (and then that was something the girl worried about more).
Sex talk is a part of who you are as a person. It is how you feel about your body, Whether you feel masculine or feminine or some- where in between, the way you dress, how you move, how you speak, the way you act and feel about other people, who you are attracted to and fall in love with, and so much more. Whether you’re on your own or sexually involved with someone else, you’re still a sexual person.
Most of us are raised not to swear. Sex talk is your opportunity to pull out all the stops on the foul mouth express. Unless you’re role-playing calls for it, avoid clinical terms (like penis). If you’re at a loss, do some research? Both of the books recommended below have lists of words. But you can do research online, by reading some raunchy erotica, or in some cases watching porn (although the sex talk in porn tends to be unimaginative).
One of the reasons many of us don’t talk dirty is fear of sounding ridiculous, or being put down or rejected by a partner. It’s important to set some rules when you’re willing to take risks like this. Rules like no laughing at one another, and no judgment are important. In the heat of the moment anything can come out of your mouth, and you need to know that your partner is respectful of the ways that can be exposing. Don’t feel you have to rush right into elaborate verbal gymnastics. A great way to start with sex talk is to describe out loud what is happening during sex. Things like “I love the way your hand feels in my….” Or “Your …feels so good on/in my…” Describe what’s happening and how it feels in your body. You can also experiment by telling your partner something you’re going to do to them, or something you want them to do to you.


























