Seeking Marital Counselling
July 10, 2009
Marriage is considered as a permanent commitment. However, in times of adversity some couples bond together and let the adversity pass while others separate.
Recent research suggests, approximately 66.67 percent of couples who stick it out during the time of adversity become happy after a period of five years. However, other couples are recommended to go for marital counselling.
Hence, it becomes necessary to choose the right marital counsellor before taking extreme steps such as divorce.
Here are few tips to identify an appropriate marriage counsellor:
• Often the marriage counselling is required by a single partner. Such a partner is generally distressed and looks for some assistance in maintaining peace in his/her married life.
However, the counsellor would require both couples to attend the training. A partner attending individually might offend the other partner, who may refuse to join the counselling later. Hence, it is important to avoid the counsellors who excel in individual therapies.
• Trained marital counsellors are rarely neutral. Though, they are expected to be impartial. A trained marital counsellor often impartially conveys strong observations on issues pertaining to domestic violence, abuse, and infidelity.
A trained counsellor is expected to save the integrity of a marriage rather than accelerate the process of a marital breakdown. The counsellors must attempt to resolve these issues within the boundaries of the marriage.
• Trained marital therapists are expected to deal with the most intense emotional issues. They should be highly prescriptive or regulatory in nature.
They must be capable of managing and administering the meeting to ensure the security of the couple. They are also expected to provide clear directives in order to improve the marital life.
It is important that extreme steps such as deciding in favour of divorce to bring an end to the marital life must be a mutual decision of both partners rather than a result of poor marital counselling.
Therefore, it is vital to choose a highly trained marital counsellor. Marital counsellor must be a highly trained individual, should be comfortable in dealing with emotional intensity, and should suggest clear directives to resolve identified problems. Above all the counsellor must be qualified enough to respect the integrity of marriage.
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