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Preparing young children for the arrival of a new baby

April 27, 2009

childrennewbabyGaining a new baby brother or sister is exciting for young children.  They will anticipate the new arrival as much as you do and will want to help with all the arrangements. 

However, once the new bundle of joy arrives, children may feel that they have been pushed aside, ignored, or rejected.  They may feel that a cuter, newer model is replacing them.

In order to prevent these feelings, you can employ any number of the following tips to prepare your children for the changes about to take place in the household.

Ensure that your children get plenty of one-on-one time

Your children need to get lots of attention at this particular time and spend one-on-one time with both parents.  This will keep them from feeling that the baby is the favored sibling.

Expose your children to other babies

Make sure that you expose your older children to other babies so that they can learn how to hold them, talk to them, treat them, and accept them.

Remind your children that they were babies themselves

Show them pictures of themselves as babies.  Look through their baby books with them and tell them stories about when they were babies.

Read books to them about babies

There are plenty of good children’s books about new babies being introduced into families.  Select a few of them and read them to your older children.

Make changes early

If it is necessary to change your children’s rooms around to accommodate the new arrival, make these changes weeks before the baby actually arrives.  Make the changes a new adventure for your children and try not to let them feel that they are the result of the new baby.

Allow your children to be babies

Don’t insist that your older children grow up and stop acting like babies themselves just because they are getting a baby sister or brother.  They should not feel pushed into leaving their “baby” role just because a new one is coming.    Pushing them will often cause resentment.

Gently show them the benefits of being “big”

You can gently guide your children’s growth by showing them activities they can do that the baby can’t.  You can help them discover that being “big” has its advantages.

Encourage the older children to help you with the new baby

By encouraging and praising your older children for helping you with the new baby, you will pave the way for new maturity and growth.  Allow them to help you feed, bathe, and play with the baby.

Expect a little moodiness and grouchiness

Once older children see that they are no longer the center of attention, they may suffer bad moods and indulge in self-pitying behavior.  Try to overlook this because it is a natural process.

Buy the older children new things

Along with new babies come new baby items.  To prevent feelings of jealousy among your other children or to keep them from feeling left out, buy them a few new things as well.


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