Old Age And Family Life
June 28, 2008
In a fast paced world, where joint families are breaking up, or children have to seek jobs far and apart, old couples are left to fend for themselves in their old age. Worse, many have to battle loneliness when they are left behind when their better half dies. In 2004, Italian newspapers carried the story of Giorgio, a seventy-nine-year-old retired high school teacher, looking for a family to adopt him as a grandfather. Married for 46-years, Giorgio lost his wife in 1992. Their only daughter, a doctor who forsook marriage to devote herself to her career was in Afghanistan in 2004. He had one sister with whom he was not on friendly having argued about their inheritance.
Taking his daughter’s advice, Giorgio moved away from central Rome after his wife died, and made his home in the village of San Polo dei Cavalieri on the outskirts of the city. He was certain the cleaner air would be good for his health. Living alone in an apartment, with seven cats, though he was in good health, his hearing was poor for which he needed a hearing aid. Suffering from cataracts, he was nervous about being operated on, since thee was no one to care for him.
Years passed and Giorgio became lonelier and lonelier. He had few friends in the village though occasionally the village police chief dropped in for a visit. His only contact with human beings was when he went shopping, and often a whole day would go by without his speaking even one word. Finding himself talking to his cats, he realized something had to be done, and so he placed an advertisement in the papers, asking for a family to adopt him as a ‘grandfather.’ He offered to contribute 500-Euros for his upkeep and help the children with their schoolwork. From the numerous replies he received he picked the one family he liked and moved in as a Nonno to its children. In the warm family atmosphere, he had the courage to have his cataracts removed and took to helping the children with their home work.
But, not every one facing the dilemmas of old age has such a happy ending. While, there are those who see marriage and family as a hindrance, many have some of the happiest marriages, having found someone who shared the same qualities and culture, had the same traditions, religion, and expectations, and goals that cemented the relationship. Ignoring a commonality of culture, traditions and religion for only love, is not the best foundation for a rock solid marriage. Many end up with broken marriages, divorced and alone.
If, you are one of these, suffering from loneliness in your old age, why not consider a mature marriage. That is, get married again and don’t say ‘At my age!’, because the answer is, one can begin family life even in old age. Not family life in the respect of setting up home and career, having children etc. It is about the coming together of two people in marriage, two people who have had successful careers, led independent lives, made strong friendships, have a sense of self. With already fulfilled lives, marriage is the icing on the cake. Such people are usually looking for someone who has the same outlook in life, similar goals and ideas, financial security of their own, and exact expectations of what they, and their prospective spouse, will bring to the marriage table. They want a marriage in which respect and love go hand in glove, a union that is strong and secure; one that complements rather than changes their lives.
So, why not create a comfortable life with someone you respect and admire, both aspects of love if considered deeply. Combine love with respect, admiration, together with the knowledge that marriage completes your already fulfilled life is priceless. Go on to live a happy family life even in your old age! Why not, every one deserves companionship and happiness, no matter what their age!
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