Making it work
July 25, 2009
Every relationship goes through a tough time at one point or other. No relationship is free of disputes and arguments. You might be having a bad time with your partner, but that does not mean that it is the end of things.
Instead of thinking of a break up, you should think of clearing the air between the two of you and think of how to make the relationship work. Break up or giving up is certainly not an option here.
The first step to resolve any kind of conflict is to communicate with each other. You need to tell your partner what you think or how you feel about things. It might seem that you argue more than you talk. But then again, at one point, you have to put aside all your prejudices and just talk.
While you are communicating, it is very important that both of you are honest and at the same time listen to what the other has to say. If your partner asks you something, do not ignore the question.
Be ready for criticism or complaints, as there might be some. So do not let that make you upset. After all no one is perfect. This will not only clear things between you, but at the same time, it will also prevent you from making the same mistakes again.
On the other hand, if you do not communicate and clear things right away then negative emotions will keep piling up and after a while there may not be any solution to your dilemmas other than terminating the relationship. So do not keep things bottled up. Open up to your partner.
No relationship can sustain without efforts. You have to work hard to make it work out for the both of you. But the effort has to come from both the partners. It is not up to just one person to keep the relationship intact. You have try to make the other person happy. Because when your partner is happy, she/he will give all the effort to make you happy as well.
While having an argument, there might be some criticism. But make sure you are not being too harsh. That will only make things worse rather than making things better.
When you are going through a hard time, try to look for a solution. Do not linger on the problem for too long. Look for the solution. Who knows, it might just be in front of you and you did not notice. So always, aim for the solution, not the problem.
Just in case if your problem gets way out of hand and you are not sure what to do about it, you can always go for couples’ therapy. There is nothing wrong in asking for help from a specialist. And this certainly does not mean that your problem is more complicated than others are. It only shows your effort to make your relationship work.
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