Is Your Man Suffering From Childhood Fears
June 17, 2008
A typical stereotype fostered by society is that men are strong, protective and fearless. That is not true, as is obvious from many of them suffering from childhood fears. Many men who were scared of the dark when little, not always outgrow that childhood fear in adulthood. It is wrong to impose such high expectations on men, as there is nothing wrong with a man who fears something or the other. A natural emotion like love, happiness, anger, hurt and sadness, women don’t seem to understand that men can also be afraid.
A normal part of growing up, childhood fears could relate to anything e.g. fear of fire, thunder, snakes, spiders, etc. For example, as a small boy a man happened to fall into a well from which he struggled to get out, my grow up scared of water bodies or enclosed spaces. This fear of water may prevent him from participating in water sports like swimming, water skiing, boating, etc.
Likewise, a man sexually assaulted in his childhood, may have trouble developing friendships or relationships with both men and women. He may turn commitment phobic or even steer clear of any sexual encounters. Or, take the example of men who fear dark closets or cannot sleep in the dark or alone. It is possible this stems from a childhood fear when they were punished for some misdeed or the other by being mercilessly beaten and locked up in a dark room.
Everyone, from the youngest child to the oldest adult, experiences anxieties and fears at one time or another. Experiencing and dealing with anxieties can prepare young people to handle the unsettling experiences and challenging situations of life. Quite normal, anxiety is defined as apprehension without apparent cause. It usually occurs when there is no immediate threat to a person’s safety or well-being, but the threat feels real. However, a little bit of anxiety can actually help people stay alert and focused.
Many adults are tormented by fears that stem from childhood experiences. An adult’s fear of public speaking may be the result of embarrassment in front of peers many years before. It is important for parents to recognize and identify the signs and symptoms of their children’s anxieties so that fears don’t get in the way of everyday life, once grown up.
· When anxieties and fears persist, problems can arise, an anxiety may turn into a phobia, or a fear that is extreme, severe, and persistent. Parents can help children develop the skills and confidence to overcome fears so that they don’t evolve into phobic reactions. They should recognise the fear as real, should not belittle it by forcing the child to overcome it. Childhood fears should not be catered to, such as, crossing the street to deliberately avoid a dog, because your child is afraid of dogs. This will only reinforce that dogs should be feared and avoided. Instead, teach your child to rate his fear, teach him coping strategies, tell him it’s okay to be afraid but that one must learn to overcome these childhood fears and anxieties. As a grown man, he should be able to set aside childhood fears and be better able to cope with life’s situations.
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