Is your child jealous
October 3, 2009
Jealously is a feeling often seen in children. Nowadays, children are the center of attention of the family. They consequently expect to be treated as such.
They demand undivided attention and expect parents to spend every waking hour attending to them. This feeling translates to jealousy upon the arrival of a sibling, a new pet or even towards the other parent.
This is a common phase that children go through. As a parent, you can use it as an opportunity to teach the child the importance of relationships and values. Here are some ideas to help with this.
Help the child understand that love grows as we share. Involve the child in activities so he/she does not feel left out. Clearly prepare the child for the arrival of a sibling.
Let him/her take the lead and help you care for the new baby. The child can help with bringing the diapers or bottles. This gives him/her a sense of accomplishment and makes the child feel useful, loved, and responsible.
The negative feelings are pushed to a corner, when the child realizes that the new object of desire is just a tiny helpless baby. Encourage your family to treat him/her the same way.
When the child demands your attention, calmly point out that you will attend to him/her after you are done with caring for the baby. Explain that both of them are equally important to you.
Some people recommend having a pet before having a baby, so the older child learns empathy and sharing.
Another important thing is to avoid comparisons between the kids. This will make them feel less favored and hence resentful and jealous. Do not punish a child for showing signs of jealousy. It is a passing phase and with love and guidance, you can help to overcome it.
Spending quality time with the child, if it means a story time or bath time or play time, helps him/her to feel special and worthy of your attention.
Over a period of time, when the child gets to be independent and emotionally self–sufficient, you will reap the benefits of your teachings to overcome jealousy. A well-loved child does not feel insecure and jealous. He feels part of a whole set up that is warm and secure.
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