A relationship between a man and a woman is God’s gift; the beauty grows with each passing day as both the individuals in the relation develop more and more mutual love, respect and understanding and stand by each other in times of crisis. People go into a relationship as nobody can spend life alone and everybody looks for fulfilling companionship.
Occasional tiffs and fights in any relation is very common and is also considered healthy to an extent as after a fight the bonding and love grows even stronger for each other. As long as fights are within limits, occasional, can be resolved and only verbal without the use of abusive language the fights are considered normal. But there are many unfortunate cases when the relationship may turn abusive and even domestic violence may be prevailing.
The partner on whom the abuses and violence are inflicted may not even understand or may be not accept that things are going very wrong for him or her. Emotional dependence and love may make the partner or spouse overlook, refuse or justify the abuses and violence as a phase without fighting against it.
Even if the abused partner rejects such behavior he or she may keep staying with the abusive partner hoping that things will get better in the future. But the harsh fact is such abusive behaviors or domestic behaviors don’t get better but worse unless proper and serious steps are taken.
Understanding domestic violence and abuse
Domestic violence and abuse may happen with anybody irrespective of sex, age, economic status, religion and may be even strength. Domestic violence consists of direct physical torture and abuse, threatening and sexual abuse, excessive control and domination.
Abuse or abusive relationships may not be always clear as many may not understand when a behavior crosses the line of decency and becomes abusive. Every human being has a right to live decently with dignity and when this right is violated by creating deep psychological wounds is the nature of abusive relationships. Domestic violence and abuse may exist in any relationship; a father, a mother, a son, a daughter or a sibling can display abusive behavior other than that of a spouse in a marriage or a partner in a romantic affair.
Whatever the nature of the relation or whoever is the person abusing or being abused domestic violence and abuse must be identified, understood and checked. It is important to identify the signs and symptoms and stop domestic violence and abuse as it creates extensive psychological damage and it’s also not worth to live in constant fear of a loved person.
Identifying the signs of domestic violence and abuse:
Domestic violence and abuses usually occur to gain complete control and power over an intimate partner or spouse; the abuser takes advantage of the emotional dependence and love for him or her in the heart of the abused. An abusive relationship is much beyond physical hitting; it’s emotional torture, coercion, threatening, psychological pressure, financial deprivation and also the threat of separation.
The victim must remember that the problem lies with the abuser and not with the abused; most of the time the abuser uses ways to make the victim feel that he or she is responsible for the mental and physical tortures. This in not true as in most cases the abuser on being studied is found to be suffering from certain mental disorder, a fear or a complex.
We must all know the warning signs to identify domestic violence and abuse so that we can understand if the same is happening to us or anybody we may know. The abuser may be professing deep love and may also justify his harsh behavior in some way or the other. Domestic violence is understood through aggressive behaviors like hitting, pushing, kicking, biting, restraining, slapping and even throwing around things. It also consists of sexual abuses, threats of being harmed, indifference and neglect and also emotional torture.
While beatings and physical torture are things that can be overtly understood emotional abuse is something that requires deeper understanding. These may consist of public or private humiliations, hurting the dignity, deny giving out information or distorting information, deliberately embarrassing the victim, making the victim isolated from people he or she can depend upon, implicitly or explicitly making the victim scared of possible harm towards the victim or his near and dear ones, depriving the victim from ways of feeling happy or independent, withholding money and essential amenities to make the victim suffer and also use abusive and slang language to make the victim feel degraded.
Therefore emotional abuses refer to such behaviors that are daunting, threatening, degrade the victim’s dignity and self worth and also hold back the victim’s freedom. The abuser tries to hurt the victim in every possible way like calling names, ridiculing and by inflicting upon constant unnecessary criticism publicly and in front of children and sometimes even involve the children in doing so.
Effects of domestic violence and abuse
The effects of domestic violence and abuse are glaring on the victim’s mind. While physical wounds may get healed psychological torture can make the individual lose his or her self worth, confidence and dignity perpetually.
The victim may go into depression, get highly stressed, try to commit suicide, may become traumatic or even a patient of post traumatic stress disorder after getting out of the relationship. There can also be physical effects like low immunity, fatigue and an overall feeling of helplessness and despair.
How to fight against domestic violence and abuse
The victim of domestic violence and abuse must remember that the abuser is a highly manipulative person who shouldn’t be trusted; such abusers know how to set it up. They will find a reason to abuse by blaming the victim and then they will behave just the opposite by asking for forgiveness and assuring never to do it again but actually manipulating the victim’s emotions to make him or her stay in the relationship.
They simply choose according to their motive and satisfaction when to behave abusively and when to behave completely normal. If we suspect any such victim we must approach him or her and without hesitation try to find out the truth.
Victims shouldn’t keep quiet by any kind of fear; they must have the strength to accept that it’s a worthless situation which has no hope of improving. They may try to help the abuser by taking him for counseling. There are various help centers and also legal assistance available to deal with domestic violence and abuse. The victim just needs to speak up without any fear; there won’t be any loss but only gains.