How To Deal With Controlling Mothers
June 10, 2008
Your mother tries to control all your acts. She tries to dictate even the smallest acts for you. Ok. Here are some tips which would come handy. While all children believe that their parents are too controlling, there is a line that, when crossed, indicates unhealthy behavior. Until adulthood, when you are out on your own, you must find a way to deal effectively with that overbearing control and not let it affect your choices.
Single parents often feel less control than a married couple that can share responsibility. Adult children of the super controlling have other options available to deal with the domineering mother or father. Your mother has looked after you and guided you in life. Express your gratitude to her for whatever she has done for you. Then explain the problems cropping between both of you. Discuss with her how both of you can deal with the problems.
If you hesitate to verbally convey your decision to her, write a letter. Explain how you would like the relationship to evolve. Tell her that if she continues interfering, your relationship with her would suffer. Don’t look your mother for every solution. Try to seek approval from yourself instead of from your mother or anyone else. If you have the self-confidence, your mother’s controlling tendencies won’t get overbearing.
Reassure your domineering parent that you are all right. Both single and married parents are often motivated by guilt because of long working hours. They feel the need to control your life more than if they were more relaxed about their own decisions. Talk to your parent calmly about your concerns. Enlist the help of the other parent if possible. People will respond to loving concern more easily than to yelling or arguing. Mark Boundaries is the best way to deal with her is to mark boundaries. Draw the contours of your live your mother should not cross. Choose which aspects of your life you won’t share with your mother. If she invades them, remind her.
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