Home Coming of The New Arrival
June 8, 2009
Most parents are apprehensive when bringing home a newborn sibling. They wonder how the older child or children will react. It is always advisable to prepare the older sibling well.
Tell them truthfully, what they should expect. Some times, we paint rosy unreal pictures for the older sibling. When the newborn comes home there is a big let down.
We cannot tell the older sibling that the newborn will be a playmate. It will take time for that. They will probably be bored with the newborn because the newborn eats, sleeps, and cries.
Not much fun to have around. Things will be different. The older sibling must be told this. Attention will be divided. In fact, in the early days, all the attention is focused on the new arrival, by both parents and visitors.
However well, an older sibling is prepared beforehand, when the newborn arrives, there will be feelings of jealousy and anger. Till that point all attention was focused on the older one. Now someone has taken their place.
This anger could be shown on the newborn when no one is looking or around. Antipathy is also shown to the parents, as they are devoting so much attention to the new arrival.
These reactions may be apparent sooner or later, but they will definitely come. It is to be expected. Encourage the older sibling to tell you how they feel.
This will give you an insight into how they feel, and also help you to be able to cater to that need at least in a small way. If the child can share what is angering them it will help to get over disturbing feelings sooner. All this is perfectly normal.
Newborns cry for several reasons. That is their only way of communicating. Since they cannot talk or call, they need to attract your attention. Some of the reasons why babies cry are because they are hungry.
It could be that they are wet and uncomfortable. Or maybe they have a colicky pain. The temperature may be annoying for them. It could be too hot or too cold for them. Parents, even new ones are quite capable of figuring out why the baby is crying most of the time.
New babies have to be fed several times. The capacity of their tummies is small and so they have to be fed at regular intervals. Intake is followed by output and the process starts again. Babies have spent 9 months in the safe enclosure of the womb.
Coming out of the womb can be unsettling for them, so that they need constant cuddling. Babies grow very quickly. This probably tires them out and they sleep for 16 – 18 hours per day maybe. So their routine is sleep, eat, defecate, be cleaned, and cuddled, and the process starts again.
It would be good to enlist the help of the older sibling and make them feel that looking after the little baby is a family venture with each person in the family helping in some way. Older siblings can help pass diapers, or help to powder baby’s bottom.
Or distract baby, when baby is crying. Singing softly could help the baby knock off to sleep. Encourage the older sibling to be quiet when baby is being put to sleep.
They could always tell their parents when the baby is wriggling or crying and parents are busy. Let the older sibling feel that the onus of looking the small baby is on them too.





























