Forging Lifelong Friendships
July 19, 2008
A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world. - Leo Buscaglia
Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen. - Samuel Paterson.
Indeed, words of wisdom from the very wise! A single rose can make a garden; similarly one good friend can complete your world. And, no one teaches you what true friendship is about than Yogananda in The Divine Romance. He says: “Friendship is the highest form of love….Friendship is the highest relationship because in friendship there is no compulsion; it is born of the free choice of the heart.
Not many in this world find true friends; mere acquaintances are not to be confused with real friends. There is no attachment in true friendship, nor is it founded in selfish human love. It is an unconditional relationship between two or more souls; they may be unrelated or family members or marriage partners.”
If, you understand that without doubt you are one of those rare souls who knows how to make friends and keep them. Friendship is a relationship that should not fade away with time and geographic separation. True friendship is one which even long separation cannot diminish over time. Making friends means there are certain things that must be kept in mind. Friendship should never be imposed. You may wish Nanki to be your friend, but ask yourself if she is as keen to be yours. Does she find your company pleasurable? A brief, casual chat will soon tell you whether you are in tune with each other and whether friendship is possible between the two of you!
Be vigilant when making friends, don’t let loneliness be your guide to making new friends. You just may find yourself in unsavoury company, friendship that is soon over. Don’t get possessive in friendships, as that will only serve to hinder and destroy what could be a healthy relationship. Never say “Two’s friends and three’s a gang”. Share your friends with others, give them the freedom to have friends other than you, and your circle of friends will widen and lifelong friendships forged.
Don’t get into competition with friends, lest the ugly jealousy rears its head. Rather than envy your friends good looks or unique talents, encourage and support them, make it clear that you believe in letting the better man win. Don’t let jealousy hamper what could be a friendship for life.
Friends are those you share all your secrets with, friendships need to be nurtured to prevent them from dying out. Busy lifestyles i.e. marriage, divorce, career, and children, can take a toll of friendships, which is why it is necessary to rejuvenate them. Keep in touch with friends via daily or weekly e-mails.
Remember important dates like birthdays and anniversaries, even though your friend forgets. Make friends feel special by sending a card or an e-mail greeting on their special days.
Never hold on to a grudge, just take it all with a grain of salt. Apologise for any falling out or argument you and your friend may have had. Don’t let it fester and turn into a full blown feud!
Make a date to meet friends perhaps even once a month for lunch, dinner, or a movie, if you live long distances apart. Start a book club, even though you are separated by many miles and many states. You can always meet online or via phone to discuss the book.
Have sleepovers if you live close to each other. Plan reunions, however, it is true that some old friends can outgrow each other. For example, a successful lawyer may have little in common with a friend who has dropped out of school or college to. A true friend will understand that it is time to move on. Keep all this in mind and you will have much success in forging lifelong friendships!
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