First time sex
May 22, 2008
For some people sexual feelings are bound up with love and close relationships. Some people think sex should only happen within marriage. For some people sex and love are two different things.What is important in learning for the first time sex that is you feeling good about yourself and what you are doing, and that you keep yourself safe. Being safe means not only thinking about physical risks such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). But also emotional risk such as the regret you may feel afterwards.
There is no absolute right age to start having sex. What matters is whether it is the right time for you. It also depends on what you mean by ‘having sex’. There are many ways in which you can give and receive sexual pleasure without having sexual intercourse. Giving each other massages in first time sex, kissing and hugging can be very passionate. It’s a way of sharing and showing love. For some people these activities can be more fulfilling than sexual intercourse.
You get pressure from people talking about sex. You think, ‘I’ve got to go and see what it’s like’. It’s hard, but you’ve got to resist and do what you want. It’s very important in first time sex not to feel pressurized into having sex when you don’t really want to. Just because your friends say they are ‘doing it’ doesn’t mean they are.
A real story for first time sex
Hi, I really respect and applaud you and your FH for waiting. Are you familiar with the book Our Bodies, Ourselves? You will find some good woman-to-woman advice there. There are other similar books on the market too. The PPs advice about lubrication is good.
Something else I would encourage you to be careful about is the possibility of getting a bladder or yeast infection. These are certainly not “sexually transmitted diseases,” but some women are susceptible to them after sex and they could really put a damper on your honeymoon. The precautions include urinating before and after sex (within, say 1/2 hr — you don’t have to interrupt the proceedings to run to the potty) and possibly rinsing the vulva area with plain lukewarm water after sex. You can do this sitting on “the seat” and slouching so that your crotch is angled forward; pour the water onto your crotch from a paper or plastic cup. It will rinse away some of the seminal fluid, which in some women can change the pH of your natural secretions allowing yeast to flourish.
Naturally it is also a good idea for your hubby to practice good hygiene — if he uses an over-the-counter antifungal powder of the type recommended for “jock itch,” this could reduce your risk of a yeast infection during first time sex.
Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: First time out, the big O is mainly the domain of the guys. No, it’s not fair, but that’s just the way it is. If you’re a female and you’re with someone who is very experienced, there’s a chance you might be sent into waves of orgasmic ecstasy, but don’t count on it. “I don’t know of anyone who [had an orgasm] the first time,” says Lindsay. Sharon agrees: “It was at least a year before I came while having sex.”
For guys in first time sex, by most accounts, the first time is a quickie. Most guys I talked to estimated their first time lasted about 1-3 minutes. At best. “Put it this way: I could have beat Maurice Green,” says Dave Wayland of Princeton University. So coming quickly is nothing to be embarrassed about. If you’re with a more experienced girl, then “they know what to expect from you” says Frank. If you’re with another virgin, you really don’t have to worry for the first time sex. Hannah Kischler, a junior at Smith College, says her first time was “mercifully quick,” since the first time for her “was fun, but it wasn’t generally enjoyable from a physical point of view.”
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