All parents are very sensitive and touchy about their kids, especially the mothers. If their kid tells them that it has been maltreated, humiliated or punished for some reason, parents, usually the mothers tend to get personal, and feel that a great injustice has been done to their kid, and they must meet the teacher and give it a piece of their mind.
How Mothers React
More often mothers, who are impatient by nature, tend to react badly and end up fighting with the teacher. The teachers feel entitled to chastise the child whenever it makes a mistake, and they do it in different ways. Sometimes they get carried away and come to understand that corporal punishment is the most effective way of chastising the child.
Sometimes they are facing difficult situation in their own personal lives and vent their frustration on the child by punishing it severely. But when they encounters a raging mother who is wrathful and threatening, they ,after all human beings, tends to react in the same manner.
Some of them tend to harbor ill feeling towards the parent as well as the child and they may treat the child with indifference or punish it indirectly. They may ask the child to stand outside the class, or to stand behind the class, or express its annoyance in some other way on one pretax or another. The situation only goes on getting worse and worse. In such cases both parents as well as the teacher are responsible for such a rancor to develop.
Difference In Approach Of Mother And Father
It’s a common knowledge that marriages in India are arranged and many women get married before they have completed their education. The result is that men are fully educated while their wives are either SSC passed or HSC passed, sometimes not even that. This is particularly true about the older generation, people born in 50s or 60s.
You can easily verify the facts by looking at women literacy rate in those days. It was very low. Here I am talking about the masses in general and not addressing a particular class. Education does not do much to change the basic nature as far as motherhood is concerned, but, however, it gives them confidence and also a calm, composed, and dignified demeanor which is the first requisite for any success full interaction to take place.
As fathers hold a full-time job, they hesitate to take a day off or make time for meeting the school teacher and more often the burden eventually falls on the mothers, who most of the times, are ill-equipped to successfully handle the situation. This is not true in all the cases but most of the time this is the case.
Sometimes the teacher refuses to talk to the mother and asks her to send the father, adding that he is well educated and understanding. This may further infuriate the mother and situation can easily get out of control.
So, if the mother is well educated and cool, composed, and confident then let her handle the situation, other wise to avoid any bad development to take place, it is better that you take out some time and meet the teacher and discuss the matter.
How To Talk To A Teacher
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First thing first, treat the teacher with respect and address it as sir or madam, as the case may be. If the teacher speaks English and you, too, can speak fluently then talk in English. It creates a good impression and teacher automatically concludes that you are well educated.
Talk politely; answer all the questions elaborate wherever necessary but don’t digress. Listen to the teacher and its concerns patiently, let it finish first and then put your opinion or concerns.
Always display a cool, calm and confident pose, and show that you are concerned. If possible appreciate the teacher for calling you and sparing his or her valuable time.
Listen carefully; what teacher tells you about your kid; if your child has done some mischief or misbehaved tell the teacher that you will look into the matter. If it’s about academics, assure him or her that you will pay more attention and see to it that the kid improves.
If the teacher is rude and complains about other aspects like cleanliness or punctuality, then you have no choice but to listen to the teacher like a student, and promise that you will take care of it and it will not happen in the future.
If you are angry with the teacher tell it that the punishment was too severe and it has affected the child badly. Request it politely to be more considerate and patient. Take leave by thanking it and on a friendly note. The matter doesn’t end here obviously.
After the Meeting
Now, you have to deal with the kid. Instead of scolding it, have a casual talk and find out the real reason behind its behavior, then find the most appropriate solution. If the child is poor in a particular subject then provide it with extra classes or tuition.
If it’s some behavioral problem than discuss it with him or her, give real life examples or your own experiences to demonstrate how its behavior can land it in to big trouble someday, and it must change itself.
If it’s about punctuality then make sure that your kid reaches school on time, if it’s about cleanliness or poor dressing then pay attention and advise the mother to see to it that school uniform is clean and well ironed and their child looks smart and tidy. Pay attention to its nails and hair, the nail should be clean and hair short and properly groomed.
A Win-Win Situation
When your child improves, don’t be surprised if you get another call from the teacher. Hopefully, you will be praised for listening to the teacher and paying heed to its advice. A friendly relation may develop between you and the teacher and you will come to know that it pays extra attention to your kid. What more you can hope for. This in the end is a win-win situation for both the parents as well as the teacher.