Dilemmas Of A Macho Man
June 20, 2008
Being a man is not as simple or easy as it sounds. The macho male equates the concept of masculinity with strength, virility and success. So, begin the dilemmas of a macho man! Racked, men often question themselves as to what it means to be a man. Or, how does a man know he has become a man? Is it an achievement, an end-point or a process? Whatever, but the fact remains a social and cultural trajectory equates the concept of masculinity with strength, virility and success. In short, being a macho man is equated with quintessential masculinity.
While, men may thrill in playing their role of macho men, their dilemma is that women view their brand of masculinity as slick to the point of sleaziness, self-assuredness as egocentricity, at ease as being disturbingly over-friendly. For women, the macho man struts his stuff and boasts his deeds: his fast car, his big house, his more-than-comfortable salary. No doubt about his motives, a macho man wants some action. He treads on your emotions, offends your sensibilities, all in the name of masculinity, trying to score with you. He tries to bully you into submissiveness and when you want him around, he’s only flirted away. In short, all he wants is some physical interaction, no matter who it is with or under what pretences. Quintessential masculinity and the macho man. Almost like a rhyme where one stands for the other.
A definite dilemma for macho men, if masculinity is viewed in such negative ways, which means that there has to be a change in the way we bring up boys and what we teach them about being macho men. We should ensure little boys feel comfortable with their gender and that they are not in conflict with the other sex. We should promote equality, encourage boys to express their emotions, tell them it is okay to express their emotions, be affectionate, angry, sad or happy.
Boys should be taught that being patient, sensitive, and respectful is part of being macho men. Parents should help them become husbands and fathers who respect their sons and daughters, their wives, those around them, and their community. Finally, remember your goal is to raise a respectful man, who can be macho without the negativity that goes with being macho men. Little boys should be taught that is okay to show tenderness, warmth, weakness, and strength. Tell him that is okay to sure of himself at times, even afraid at other times. Teach him that to enjoy cooking for his family is as much a masculine quality as enjoying a soccer match. Just as a man respectful of others, sure of himself has nothing to fear from intelligent women. Rather, teach him that smart women can be a part of his support system. Above all, he can become a man who learns that treating others lovingly and respectfully is the best path to follow as he grows and explores life.
The dilemma of being a man, a macho man, as Norman Mailer says: ‘…is a continuing battle!’
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