A marriage is built by two people where ideally each individual ceases to remain separate and becomes one. However, in real life this may not happen as each individual has a separate entity which can’t cease even with a marriage and every human being needs some personal space at least. Becoming one in a marriage means to understand and respect each other’s differences and adjusting with each other to stay happily together in a family.
Complications in a marriage not only affect the couple but also the kids to a great extent. Being emotionally matured and nipping any problem in the bud itself can make a marriage strong and happy. It is necessary for both the partners to understand certain ways of each other and also build a level of tolerance to make a marriage successful and a home a happy one.
Both the partners must be willing to work together towards making their marriage meaningful and successful. If only one of the partners keeps putting the effort and the other remains rigid then it becomes a compromise which eventually makes a marriage unhappy or unsuccessful. Therefore, there should be certain level of mutual emotional maturity and adjustment which can help avoid marital problems.
Meaning of mutual in a marriage
Mutual means something that is reciprocal. A marriage can work well only when the love and emotional bonding are reciprocal and therefore mutual between the couple. When mutual love and willingness exists any problem can be combatted and a marriage can be made successful without letting it end in a divorce.
A marriage is made by two people and hence friction may take place at times which is very normal. Any relationship including a marriage may go through a tough phase but the mutual feelings that bind each other can make the relationship strong enough to sail through testing times.
Reasons of marital problems and conflict
Marital problems may brew up from various reasons but we can be careful and remain sensitive to avoid any such occurrences. The main reasons why a marriage loses its initial spark are lack of sensitivity and understanding by either of the partners. When one or both the partners give more importance to the self and its interests than that of the couple together then problems begin to creep into the marriage.
Lack of time for each other, lack of communication and loss of faith and trust in each other paves the way for marital complications which if not addressed at the right time may end up in a divorce. Sometimes even if intentions are honest and love is enough yet misunderstandings and tensions may arise due to the failure to understand and appreciate the male female basic differences.
Male female differences exist in the way both the sexes think and operate; while a man may like to handle things independently a woman would like to give and seek support. Thus, while not being aware of such differences may lead to unnecessary heart breaks on the other hand learning and accepting each other’s differences may help to handle things in a much easier way.
Building trust in a marriage
Trust is something that cements any relationship forever and makes it strong and fortified against any possible threats. Ups and downs may happen but a relation can never become weak if mutual trust is present. However, trust once broken may seldom get back to its previous form.
Therefore any relationship, especially marriage gets stronger with the level of trust the couple has for each other. But trust is something that should be mutual and also should be understood as one of the most essential factors in a good marriage.
Any doubts or suspicions should be clarified openly; both the partners should be willing to talk and communicate with each other to avoid any misconceptions which may eventually lead to lack of trust for each other. Both should be ready to listen before blaming the other for anything.
Trust can also be hampered if either one of the spouse tries to control or abuse the other in any way. Insensitivity, lack of understanding, self-centeredness, lying and dishonesty can destroy trust which may be hard to regain.
To build mutual trust we shouldn’t wait for the partner to make the first move. Honesty and openness on our part will create spontaneous transparency in the partner as well. Listening and letting clear communication is very important. A situation might be perceived in different ways by different people.
Listen what the partner has to say and also explain clearly what you think. This way both gets the chance to know and understand how each perceives situations. Understanding and empathizing with each other by forgiving and forgetting any past misdeeds strengthens marital bonding. Giving a minimum level of personal space to each other is important; over controlling may make the partner become aloof and distant while giving space will allow one to open up more freely. Have faith and belief in your partner’s competence and give the respect he or she deserves.
Avoid being fickle minded and maintain parity between what is said and what is actually being executed. Very simple little things may build trust or may even break it beyond repair. Therefore all of us need to take trust very seriously in any relationship especially in a marriage.
Importance of mutual respect in marriage
Respect is something that every living being deserves. Therefore, mutual respect in a marriage is another crucial factor to make the marriage strong and combat any possible marital problems. If we consider thinking about the possible problems we might face in a marriage we will find that most problems occur out of lack of respect.
In a marriage a couple may have individual differences but showing respect to each other’s ways actually builds a good marriage. But when a partner or both begins to imply that the other is incompetent it hurts the self-esteem and self-image which is wrong. Therefore respect is something that can help to take care of most complicated situations as well.
Mutual respect grows from mutual love and compassion. Where there is no love, compassion or, empathy, respect can’t develop. Children will only show respect towards their parents when they will see their parents showing mutual respect.