Parenting is a balancing act between control and freedom as too much of both can be detrimental. When it comes to controlling and having an authority on children, parents may have different views and opinions. Usually, it is believed that controlling parents are likely to make their children disciplined and serious.
Nonetheless, it is liable that your children will accomplish a job more out of fear (or authority) than out of motivation and spontaneity. Too much of control can be a dangerous tool in parenting which may take a toll over children’s innocence and creativity. Discover some alarming effects which controlling parents are likely to impose on their children.
Skewed and Formal Relationship Between Parents and Children
Although controlling parents have a greater chance of getting a work done through their parenting skills, which can serve a motivation to exercise all the more authority and power, they are likely to lack a close and bonded relationship with their children. Respect for parents is more likely to be an outcome of fear (for punishment or abandonment) than out of a sense of belonging and responsibility.
Controlling parents who exercise rigid control over their children can give a wrong message that the (parent-child) relationship lacks warmth and love. Even if there is a display of love, it can be realized in the incorrect manner.
Loopholes in the Overall Development of Children
Controlling parents are liable to interfere with the overall development of their children; this appears as low self-esteem, low self-expression, eating disorders and negative self perceptions in children. Children suffering from too much parental control may be unable to hone their skills properly and in the right way. Children may even suffer from depression or suicidal thoughts when they have excessive controlling parents.
Controlling parents can make their children overly shy. Their controlling behavior can restrict children’s activities, especially those requiring interaction with others, and minimize (or even eliminate) the scope of holistic development. The constant scrutinizing behavior of parents can eventually make children lose confidence. Right from the choice of clothes to friends, children find difficulty at everything.
The discouragement to children’s efforts to experiment and think can be detrimental to their creativity. Demanding and highly controlling parents can be detached and unreceptive to their children’s needs. Due to a unilateral communication between parents and their children, discontent and distrust can emerge.
Avoidance and Violent Behavior of Children
Children can depict avoidance to parental engagements and interactions due to the non-acceptance of their parents’ controlling behavior. They may resist living in the same house when parents are present, sharing the dining table and other such family get togetherness.
Children may route to their friends’ houses or other locations to avoid unwanted interference in their activities, especially when they are entering adolescence or adulthood. Disrespect and delinquent behavior can soon turn to violent behavior.
Parenting style has a direct influence on children. It is important not to lay too many rules till the safety of children remains unchallenged.
Impact of a Controlling Mother on Her Children
Studies indicate that a mother’s controlling behavior can be concerning to her children. Children, especially less than 10 years old, can experience negative emotions and depict frustration when they experience too much of their mothers’ control.
Mothers usually spend more time with children, particularly when they are young and growing, and their influence on children is evident through their behavioral outcomes. Too much control can make children prone to dissociating with their mothers.
Parents May be Unaware Of Their Children’s Problems
When parents control too much, they reduce the scope of conversations and promote giving instructions. They may not know what’s actually bothering their children. Ignorance to kids’ opinions and needs can create more problematic situations in life like children turning to an outside (possibly unreliable) source for help. Children are likely to be mislead due to lack of communication and proper feedback.
While parents may be thinking that letting their children voice out their minds will rob them of their rights, children can find shelter and rescue at other unfaithful sources. This can have a damaging effect later over time when children grow up because their disadvantage can become someone else’s advantage.
Balancing Control And Care For Appropriate Parenting
Parents need to diminish between control and care. While care can associate parents to their children, excessive control can actually dissociate them. Parents can pass this ambiguity to their children and the inherent ills of unbalanced parenting. Parents being the primary and lifelong mentors for their children, the responsibility increases all the more.
A balance between control and care is important to strike the right cord in parenting. Beginning early is crucial as young minds can be shaped like raw mud (which is easy to be molded). High levels of care can be complemented with moderate control during childhood. Parent-child relationship being a delicate one, it is important to have the right doses of care, support, proximity and control.