‘Communicate’ is the latest buzz word for minimizing problems between couples these days. It is believed that communicating openly and honestly with your partner can help zip up all the conflicts and problems. Though it sounds simple, but can be quite difficult for someone to practice. Here are some pointers for married couples to learn the art of communicating in the right manner before they can use it to fix their marital problems.
Our spouse is undoubtedly the person with whom we have the closest relation in the world; thus, it is our duty to treat one another well. Each spouse has to consider the welfare of their better half and give them the best of their lives. However, most people end up behaving in the opposite manner; that is, treat strangers politely and behaving rudely with your own spouse. The main reason behind this is that we take the people we love for granted. Therefore, before one can communicate well with their partner, it is important to remember their place in the lives of each other and give top priority to their relationship.
Communication between Spouses
Communication is the way in which two people convey a message to each other. It is very important to choose the right words to convey this message, as once said the words cannot be taken back. It is very important to make the right choice of words so that the right message is passed on without the need for any guesswork or interference. Thus, it is important to sort out your thoughts and put them in the right works before voicing them to avoid any conflicts and misunderstandings. This is especially necessary in case the marriage is not completely stable and you want to resolve the issues using communication. Put yourself in the shoes of your spouse to understand how the things you say can impact the other.
Choose the right time: Another important thing to consider when communicating with your partner is the timing. To communicate with each other effectively, it is important to do so at the right time. Do not try to communicate when your spouse is not alert or busy with something else. You cannot get any positive effect from your communication efforts if you choose a time when your partner is tired or sleepy; instead, you will end up getting even more frustrated. Both parties must be completely ready to deal with all issues to get the appropriate solution to the problem. This will be the ideal time for the partners to communicate their feelings with each other without being defensive or accusing each other.
Avoid emotional outbursts: Avoid all kinds of emotional outbursts which can lead to your partner turning away from you or becoming unresponsive towards you. This is important as it would kill any kind of resolution of conflicts that might have been on the way. Yelling at each other or raising voices will further add to the frustration and hurtful feelings.
Choose the right location: The results of your communication efforts would be favorable when the location that you choose is correct. Trying to communicate in front of your kids or in a crowded place is not the right way. The place where you communicate intimate feelings should be secure and comfortable for both so that both partners can be at ease and open with each other. The bedroom can be considered as the ideal place for good communication between couples.
Besides expressing yourself with words, there are a number of other ways in which two people can communicate with each other; such as embracing, touching, giving a smile or even a kiss. These gestures help the other partner to relax and encourages a softer communication to occur which would be much more productive. Choosing non-verbal methods of communicating with each other to promote love, respect and a desire to resolve all issues can be extremely helpful.
5 Ways of Improve Your Marital Relationship with Nonverbal Communication
These are 5 sure shot ways which when incorporated in your day to day interaction with your partner can make a huge difference, without the need to utter even a single word.
1. Always express your affection
Non-verbal methods of communication involves gestures such as facial expressions, eye contact, body language, and all other kinds of emotional and visual cues. If you do not express your affection in a non-sexual yet physical manner, you partner will, sooner or later, start feeling that you don’t love him / her anymore. Therefore, it is very important that you express your affection on a daily basis by simple gestures like holding their hand, looking into their eyes, hugging them, or rubbing their shoulders.
2. Pay close attention to the mood of your partner
One thing that sounds simple but is quite hard to do after marriage is step out of one’s own boundaries and pay close attention to their significant other. Without saying anything, a person gives numerous cues about their mood such as silence, frowning, avoiding eye contact, or sitting cross legged. These are clear indications that your partner is not in good mood. On the contrary, conversing freely, smiling, or looking into your eyes depict that they are enjoying a good mood. Paying attention to such cues will help in improving your relationship to a great extent.
3. Use positive language to express disagreement
Non-verbal communication plays an important role during verbal communication as well. For example, while expressing certain negative feelings, the words which are left unsaid usually mean a lot more than words which are said. Using negative words such as ‘whatever’ or ‘yes, but’ can create problems; instead, one should use positive language such as ‘yes, and’ as it helps avoid negative reactions. The attitude and tone of person can often be well implied through their words and voices.
4. Do some of their chores
A great way of expressing your affection is to complete some of your spouse’s chores for them. Not only does this gesture demonstrate affection, but also concern. It also provides a way to give your partner a pleasant surprise when they discover that their work has already been completed for them.
5. Give them surprises by leaving small personalized gifts in different places
Make personalized gifts such as cards, flowers, or love notes and leave them at different places in the house, such as in the bedroom, kitchen or bathroom. This is a wonderful way of displaying your affection, which would make your relationship stronger.